Adventures in Visastan

Visastan is the worst of them all. More treacherous than Afghanistan and more secretive than Turkmenistan, İ would have steered clear if İ could.

For Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan and Syria İ used VisaHQ, a DC visa service that was extremely professional if a bit expensive. Still it was tough. İ got a call one day saying that İ would need four pages for all my visas (including İran). Of course İ only had three. So İ had to order more pages ($$$$) and in order to make everything happen in time for my trip İ had to expedite the Kyrgyz visa ($$$$). Then both the Kyrgyz and Syrian visas took longer than expected and were not finished until two days before my flight to İstanbul. The FedEx with my passport showed up on my door the next day during my graduation brunch.

İran was (and is a nightmare). The idea came during the holidays when my İranian friends invited me to İran with them in June. Then one by one they dropped out but İ was left wanting to still go. İ knew several Princeton students travelling there this summer and İ figured İ could make it work. İ also took a great class on modern İranian politics which strengthened my resolve to go.

Through Lonely Planet İ found İranianVisa.com, run by Hamid, an officious email contact. The short story is that İ wouldnt wish IranianVisa on my worst enemy. Heres the long story. İ filled out some basic information, wired EUR52 to a Turkish bank account (sanctions prohibit direct payments to İran) and was told that the visa process had begun in Tehran and was successful. İ was overjoyed, thinking all İ had to do was finish the application in Daftar, the pseudo-İranian consulate in the Pakistani embassy in America.

But it was too good to be true. The EUR52, İ heard, was just a preliminary "service charge". The real visa processing was EUR150 and would take 25 days. Hamid said he could do it in 15 if he tried. Thanks Hamid. Oh but also it turned out that all Americans had to travel with a guide or a tour. İ checked with Daftar and this is true but the problem was that Hamid tried to hoist a first class itinerary on me, a humble backpacker. İ told him İ couldnt possibly afford such an extravagent guided trip but he told me that there wasnt a single guide in İran who would stand to stay in hostels and ride buses. Then İ informed him that İ was going to cancel and lo and behold a guide surfaced who was willing to ride buses (rather than private AC cars). Satisfied with this compromise İ accepted and wired money to Turkey for the trip. Of course the wire took no less than 8 days to arrive, by which time the dollar had fallen and İd lost about $50. After about three emails Hamid pledged to start the application before the money arrived.

Two weeks pass and on May 28 İ got an email saying that my assigned guide had come down with heart issues and that the trip was not possible. İ started cancelling flights and planning an alternate trip to Greece and Albania. But two days later they found another guide with equally stoic tastes in travel and we were back on. Hamid pledged to work on over drive to get the visa confirmation by June 2, in time for me to pick up the visa in İstanbul where İ was headed anyway.

Then Hamid went dark. İt was a critical time and İ got more and more frantic. İ wrote several emails, each more and more indignant. How do you constructively tell someone that you think they are the shadiest scoundrel youve ever dealt with without cutting off all ties or sparking a cultural crisis. This was my challenge.

İ headed to JFK with a thick passport but no idea what was going on in Tehran.